and this is this

this way of writing that we learn
this way of fighting that we earn
moving into a fall
from a stumble
that becomes a trajectory
and finds a purpose
this is the gravity of jazz

we have an ear for the speech
and a kind of reach
that dreams of ebonies, ivories
has meat between its teeth
and a grasp that defies belief

from the weave
the interleave of know and believe
comes something that can transmogrify
set alight the visionary eye
make a camera from the observer
make art from the observation
but only if you lean into the wind
only if you acknowledge the precipice
only if you say i am here and this is this

love is

love isn’t a candle
carrot or stick
healer or vandal
love can ignore, or love can implore us
love is the best thesaurus
and i mean you
and you mean me
and with you i found out how great it can be
i never found how late it can be
because it always arrives at the right time
day time or night time
when it comes to a fight time
when it comes to peace
you never withdraw and you never cease
because you own this; it isn’t a life on lease

double shadow pikadon

a dead confusion; a static
something lost and automatic
something dressed a tragic
episodic magic

there are mushroom clouds in the backyard
there’s cancer in the front
there’s sunshine, there’s paper cranes
fat man and little boy and godzilla dancing

because we don’t know lollapalooza
under the breath shibboleth
machine gun fire and easy death
we watch the fate swiftly undress

a script frees
from a terminal striptease
some kind of crypt wheeze
of the last gasp kings of a failing world

don’t look so gloomy
the coffins roomy
decisions entomb me
and down we all domino

a worked for dream

it isn’t steam
a worked for dream
you write it on the window
it’s skinned though
you dream it isn’t

we make it all electric
and for those who can’t detect it
have a flag but won’t erect it
have sweeter meat but infect it
you will see and recollect it

we have words for you
it’s true
but that’s a surface read
this is something on which you can feed
this is something for which you bleed

this is a dream and it’s realer than you

a transport

does this anger belong to me?
they say own it
but it’s a trick
a lie of someone else
i invested in myself

it rises up
a snake inside
acid heartburn
switchblade tongue
and i am unsure

there’s a heat
there’s a mechanism
there’s a schism
there’s a prism

it’s a cruel ice-pick in the back anger
a scorpion lie of anger
a buried to long glad to be free anger
something ugly and twisted
something unadmitted
and it preys on the weak
using me to speak


conversation stuck repeat
hermes is no longer fleet
dragged into a dumb defeat
there is glass beneath my feet

daedal whorls identity maze
hit the glass and watch it craze
rizzared icarus wings, the daze
this is how it often plays

i say to you let me put it away
find something novel to say
hearts and feathers we need to weigh
long before the judgment day

break from these concrete patterns you have made
let another tune be played
the hackneyed phrase is overplayed
we shall not now nor ever be swayed


how did i read but not see
the subtle barbs directed at me?
when exactly did it turn to hate
and an attempt to stop my create?
where did the egg break?
there’s no omelette to contemplate
we’re not in any kind of dither state
it end with slammed on brakes
what was real for you?
what’s fake?
taking up another take
took a while to finally wake
atom bomb hurled at my world
like an idiot foetal curled
more blubber than a whale
an epic fail
but that was never the end of the tale
and i swam up from the depths
learned to take new breaths

mis-step, father

i was a mis-step father
just another mistake
losing the footing
and why are you putting
any of this there?
sending up a flare
amidst some kind of mid-life scare

men are the broken wombs of their thoughts
holding silence around a still-birth
and wondering about the magic of women
in some tragic substitute way
which never says anything more than
i want to hold something i created
hold it near
hold it dear
trapped in the amber of fear

i wanted to frankenstein myself a child
to not reach death and be decompiled
to live this life not reviled
only to, as a skull, have smiled

i am sorry to those i let down
dreaming of some future disconnected
hoping the broken frame got corrected
no lens, we are not friends
i am not sure what kind of memory i am
trying to escape the sense of self as sham

my ace, sir, lapped op, crashes

you crashed again
i have too much open
i hit restore
and just like nothing happened
the words reappear

unconscious black
amnesiac white
feels like an attack
on the things i write
scuffed chrome

try to take it home
i only drink coffee
trying to keep those tabs open
i pay a price for it

blind, never thaw it

i would build you up again
because when you break it down
something in me fell apart
when you dropped through the cracks
there are subtle attacks
he loves, he lacks

i rarely look in the mirror
except to shave my head
except to shave my face
i used to live in comparison
but death took that mask
and unmade my likeness

i am not like you
this misguided pride
but i offer some gifts
differently wrapped
have to stop telling myself i’m crap
nothing ever dropped into my lap

i offer help so my heart can be stolen
i break bread so you can walk my spine
i’m the ladder for you
i’ll be sadder for you
because you don’t want me happy, do you?
i never saw it
bury it under ice and never thaw it